Many adult adoptees who came in to see me for psychotherapy were completely unprepared for young adulthood. You might be thinking, of course that makes sense. After all, they came in because they’re struggling with life.
Or, perhaps you’re thinking, this isn’t an adoption issue. Young adulthood is the new adolescence, right?
Yes, and no.
Then I started to see a few more things. I saw that many adoptive parents were basing their mindset, their decisions, judgment calls with their teen on the guidance and advice they received from their agency, therapist, friends, etc. And, that guidance was centered around a few key themes – safety, security, love and belonging, trust, etc. What I was seeing was that when adoptive parents tried to respond in the same way that they had been for years, it no longer provided the comfort, reassurance and connection that it might have before. Now, it seemed to make things worse.
Then, it came to light via research that adoptees (ages 11-22) are four times more likely to attempt suicide.
Regardless of your feelings about adoption, it’s a vulnerable position to be in to differ from the mainstream in some way. But, what does this mean for adoptive parents? What does your adopted teen need from you?
“When I learned of her book, Parenting in the Eye of the Storm: The Adoptive Parent’s Guide to Navigating the Teen Years, I read it as soon as I could. It uses powerful examples from both her clinical experience and her personal life story to create an accessible guide to approaching complicated issues. While the target audience is adoptive parents, the short, easily digestible vignettes within the book could serve as jumping-off points to foster discussions about adoption, race and identity WITH your teen. It’s a wonderful tool that we recommend to adoptive families.”
–Steve Kalb, LMSW Director of Adoptee Services, HOLT. Read entire article HERE.
“Wow. Life changing. No nonsense. Filled with fresh ideas. My daughter (adopted internationally) is 14. I’m already using Katie’s advice in day-to-day life. You’ll need a hard copy to highlight and leave on your bedstand.”
—Beth O’Malley, M.Ed, author of Lifebooks: Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child
“Katie understands what adoptees and their families are facing. She’s been there. Her insights offer hope and compassion not judgment. She presents her ideas in an inviting and approachable way. She’s not looking to scapegoat or criticize, she’s committed to increasing capabilities, awareness and nurturing healthy families.”
Gayle Swift, Coach, adoptive parent, author of “ABC, Adoption and Me.”
“This is the most insightful book I’ve read about parenting adopted teens. Naftzger draws from her own experience as an adoptee and a therapist to offer parents practical tools for improving communication with their child, without ever being preachy or prescriptive. Most importantly, she honors the emotions, integrity and intellectual capacity of the adopted teen at every turn, helping parents better understand the complexity of their child’s experience.”
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